Escape

I think I am forming an addiction to my Focalin. It takes me more than other since people since I actually am ADD, but I have a habit of hoarding and abusing my meds. And it feels great. I have never craved anything more than a nice big dose of Focalin, or some sort of amphetamine. I am almost to the point of asking around to try to get more. On Friday I see my psych again, where I am going to ask for a higher dose.

I have never been so excited.

Also, I apparently am almost through with therapy! I am scheduled to be finished with it in January, just in time for my birthday :)

If only I was actually better.

I purged three times today, eck, and sort of went crazy with meds xD I have some mood stabilizers I got from a friend which I took earlier. They really helped me relax and clear my head of the depression from earlier. Right now I am waiting for 120 mg of DXM to kick in. If I had enough ADD stuff, I would probably be snorting it, and if my friend had given me the whiskey today I'd be drunk.

What fun.

Anyway, I decided that I am going to lose 20 pounds. I swore it to myself, so it is going to happen, no matter what.

If I have to purge thrice a day every day, then so be it.

I am so sick of myself.

<3 Wren