My shoulder really effing hurts. I saw a newish physical therapist today, one who specializes in swimming shoulder injuries, and she taped up my shoulder with some weird Kinesio Tape thingy.

It doesn't do shit.

I doubted the tape from the beginning, so even the placebo effect doesn't apply.

It also doesn't help that she did soft tissue work on my shoulder today, which was massaging various muscles. It hurt like hell. It didn't even have the promised benefits of feeling great afterwards. Now it is just sore, stiff, and I can barely move it. Plus, my back/core is sore, so I am pretty miserable.

The only good part of right now is that I snorted some of my Focalin and can feel it. It was a normal dose, so it isn't that big of a deal, but I can focus and the snorting makes it a little more potent. At least it feels like it.

I don't really have much more to talk about. I have a strong desire to quit my antidepressant again, but I know it's a horrible idea. I don't even know why I want to be depressed.

What I do want is to lose weight! With the ADD stuff, it is easier to not eat. Unfortunately, the dose is too small to really effect my concentration. And whenever I go without it to hoard it, I am a complete mess! I never shut up, bounce off the walls, and I focus about as well as a sugar high toddler.

I currently weigh 153, where it has been for a very long time. I need to get into the 140s. Wish me luck this week! I will try to stay somewhat healthy and quit purging.

I think it's better to starve than purge.

I hope all of you are happy!

<3 Wren